Seriously....

Would you like a cool Hawaiian shirt?

Seriously. My family won't let me wear them anywhere.

We had a wildest Hawaiian shirt contest for two years at the convention. The next convention we replaced the wildest shirt contest with the (best-forgotten) Thursday night limbo contest.

But some traditions are worth preserving. I still buy a new tropical shirt every year for the convention.

The item furthest back in the closet is a tropical number with palm trees, an orange sunset and Al Pacino. When I wore it to the restaurant afterwards, strangers kept coming up to me and saying "Say hallo to my little freend," which I found a bit disturbing.

My shirt for the second year's contest was entered as "Hawaiian Boys with Woodies."
The design was surfers and those station wagons with wood trim, called Woodies, that surfers used back in the day to carry their surfboards.

Shirt Three is a floral number in a cool faded red. Emalee says the color is pink and has made not-too-subtle insinuations.

This year's shirt, sort of a Hawaiian Mafia don number, almost didn't even make it to the reception at all. Daughter Amie suggested, very seriously, that I should go back to the room and change.

While we're giving away things, would you like a happy, playful dog? Or a cat?

Seriously, you can have one. Two or three even. Just don't tell my family. Tell them you came for a shirt. They'll like that.